The importance of dressing (and acting) sexy

The way most women dress is only one of the many ways women have allowed their sexuality to be repressed. But no more! Some women are very reluctant to dress in a sexy way, lacking self-confidence in a way. I encourage you to remember that every woman has the innate ability to be sexy and attract and arouse the males around her, starting with your partner. When you consciously choose to solicit such arousal and
attraction, you open yourself to new perspectives and enable your own self-confidence to grow. This is not only important in your journey to become the dominant partner in your relationship but will also benefit you in everyday life.

Always remember that the only people whose happiness needs to factor into your decisions are yourself and your partner. If you live your life by others rules, you’re not living your own life and someday, that will bring regret when you look back. If dressing sexy makes you feel good and it thrills your partner (which it will :p), then that’s all that really counts. Of course an added bonus is that it will also please other male play things out there ;-). I encourage you to dress sexy 24/7. It doesnt matter if you are home alone or out with friends. Dressing sexy will make you feel good about yourself.

As with most aspects of life, this can be a gradual progression. For women who commonly wear pants,
simply switching to more skirts (and then I don't mean those skirts that drop until your knees) and dresses is a night and day difference. Leaving an extra button undone on the same blouses you always wear can turn a casual look into an alluring one. In general follow this simple rule when choosing what to wear: "Think dress first, skirt second, and pants only as a last resort." Now I can already hear the objections. "Oh, Nienke, I could never wear clothes like that. I'm too [fill in the blank] short, tall, round, thin. Nonsense, girls! The point is not to find women (skinny supermodels) to make clothes look sexy; rather it's to have skimpy, reveling clothes to make women (of all sizes and shapes) look sexy. Believe me, girlfriend, any mature woman in a short, tight dress and a top that shows some boobs looks good to any man on this planet!

What you wear under your dress or skirt is as important as the outfit itself. Always wear matching or at least
coordinated lingerie. Bras should maximize your bust size and its ok to display a little cleavage. Choose thongs or French cut panties and avoid (white) cotton underwear. Always wear hosiery. High tops and thigh highs are great for casual wear but stocking held up by corsets or garter belt are best for formal occasion. Try to avoid pantyhose when going out but if you wear them make sure they are sheer. Wearing stockings will make you feel far sexier and more feminine.

Shoe-wise you should go with high heels. Three-four inches are fine for casual entertaining, but try for four-five inches for nights out. This will take some getting used to as well. If you are not used to walking on high heels regularly, start by wearing your highest heals inside the house for 2 hours a day, then lengthen this period to 4-5 hours (switch shoes every now and then). This will ensure your feet hurt less when you have to go out on them as they grow used to your shoes.

Hair is also important. You want a hairstyle that is attractive, not something that is convenient or easy to manage. Generally men like longer, straight or wavy hair and blondes have an advantage. Just as important as hair is your make-up. You should make sure to do your eyes and lips on a daily basis at the very least, even if you are not going out. Make-up should not be over the top but it should be visible (don't try to hide! less is not more); what works best for you depends a lot on your skin tone. Google some makeup tips/looks and simply practice in front of your mirror. Red lipstick is a must however as it is classic, elegant and versatile. A good guide on what shade of red to use can be found here. Another way to instantly look more sexy is eyelash extensions. If you haven't already tried lash extensions, you should at least once in your life. Seriously, I speak from experience when I say they are amazing ;-).


Now a few exercises you should do to build your confidence:
 - Follow the dressing guidelines above
 - Go out shopping wearing a short dress or a skirt once a week
 -  At least twice a week make eye contact with a man you find attractive and make sure to make plenty of eye contact with him and smile.
 -  Make sure to go on a girls night/day out at least once a month (and dress the part!)
 - Make at least one 'selfie' a week while wearing a nice outfite, heals and hair 7 make-up done